When your begin to lose everything, you beg for forgiveness and beg for a second chance, you would beg for an answer, you would beg so much to an extend you actually start lose your own pride, so much that is given to someone who never sees it, and yet to want that person back or something back so des·per·ate·ly, why?  You will never know because its toxic and your in denial and its not your your fault, how could you be in denial to someone or something you love so much, you wouldn't even if its toxic, because all you want was to love. By now you'll beg for help forwards anyone who come across nice to you, friends, strangers anyone who put their arms around you and say its okey. But its really okey to feel like this as i know you'll be hurting so much now and i am here to be the stranger to say that its okey, its only normal to feel this way, by feeling this way, you would know that you’ve loved so hard then you've given up more that you can ever give. So there you go running in circle again and again to find answers, blaming yourself for the things that have happened, asking yourself what have i done wrong, and what have i haven't done enough till you could leave and close the book just like that.